George's Bar and Grill, Fresno

Went in for lunch with a couple friends and our experience was similar and equally pathetic. Suffice it to say, none of us will return.

I started with a cabbage soup that was lifeless and bland. I get the idea of a peasant soup, but this was more like hot Fresno tap water with black pepper and cabbage added to it. Moving on.

I had the mix of dolma, sarma and kufta. If there were an Armenian food stand at the Big Fresno Fair and I received the last three pieces of dolma, sarma, and kufta and the end of the day from the large steamer tray, that's basically how my lunch tasted. Steamed to the degree that everything was sort of wet, pale, and like the soup, lifeless. The food could have been made 3 days before or 3 hours before, I couldn't tell because it was so heavily steamed.

No reason to return.

Oka Japanese, Fresno

This may be the most brief review I’ve ever done. 

If I had gone to the bathroom to wash my hands before I ordered anything, I would have walked out before eating. Absolutely the most filthy bathroom I’ve seen since I was in a roadside stand in Morocco. I was disgusted. 

No soap in the Men’s bathroom. So I hope to God there was soap in the Women’s restroom as it seems to be all women rolling your sushi. 

Good luck.

China Bistro, Fresno

As a qualifying statement, this was a take-out meal. The meal was hot and it only takes 8 minutes from the restaurant to the house and in the plate. Two main staples when eating generalized Chinese food out, Mongolian Beef and Spicy Eggplant. The theme was Boring and Oily, but all fresh and high quality beef and produce. Based upon the results, it wouldn't have mattered whether it was in restaurant or out, the food was still going to be oily and underseasoned. This is the second time I've ordered take-out from China Bistro and have had similar results with the same meal.

All the elements of Mongolian Beef are there, fresh, thinly sliced beef, lots of green onions, dry hot chili, a hint of sauce. But the dish falls horribly flat, void of real flavor or heat. I even chewed on a couple of the chili pods just to see if it would brighten the dish. Nothing. The pods weren’t even spicy. The spicy eggplant was anything but. Again, the elements were fresh but the same issues arose, lack of flavor, no spice, tons of oil.

Maybe the clientle dictates the level of spice and seasoning. As a benchmark, my mother and several aunts like this place. None of them care for spicy food and most of them like noodle dishes with chicken.

I did have to pull out a coveted remedy, special black bean chili sauce, like the one used at Henry's in San Francisco. Thank God I bought a 6 pack of the jars for emergency situations like this one.

Yosemite Ranch, Fresno

A few friends and I ate at the bar recently on a Thursday night. Prime time at 7pm, busy as can be. In terms of service, I have no complaints. The bar staff hustled like crazy to keep up with our orders and the other patrons.

"When the bartending staff spoke to our party in particular, they were never rushed, never hurried in their conversation. Kudos for the level of training the bar staff receives in handling its customers."

For dinner, I started with their heavily pushed, ahi tuna appetizer. I’m generally a fan of ahi and a simple seared piece of quality ahi is a nice way to start. Simple is far from what was delivered. There was a lot of stuff on the plate.

Generally Asian themed, the plate was awash with sauces and sides. This generally worries me. Fish, when seasoned and seared properly, should taste wonderfully and with a minimum of accompaniments. Sides of wasabi cream, ginger, drizzles of this and that, just overwrought. I expect this level of dazzle at some sushi restaurants in mini-malls, but not here. Generally, steak houses will treat ahi the way they treat steak, with some reverence. I say, skip the flourishes and give me a well prepared ahi steak. Yes, I finished the ahi, but tried to avoid the flourishes.

So I decided to be difficult for the next round. I asked, in a Nicholson Five Easy Pieces sort of way, for just the USDA Prime Rib-Eye they were featuring. No sides, no starter salad, no nonsense, just the meat on a plate, cooked medium rare, of course. The bartender spoke to the floor manager and promptly returned to say, “Yes” and they’d charge me simply for the price of the steak, not the full meal. Even better. Let’s see what they deliver.

As requested, a beautiful Prime rib-eye on a large white plate. Nothing else. No garnish even. The steak was well-seasoned and well-rested. The steak was cooked exactly right, evenly medium-rare from end to end. Not a single scorch mark or burnt area. The wood fire grill they use certainly is additive to the flavor of the steak. This steak was exactly right.

I’m happy to eat at the bar again at Yosemite Ranch. I will probably stick with simple dishes, like steak on a plate and salad. I have a feeling that the flourishes and "bedazzled" nonsense don’t stop with the ahi.

More Tri-Tip Sandwich Updates for Fresno

Mike’s Grill has the best tri-tip and ribs in Fresno that I've had to date. (Although, Fresno Bites insists on Keith’s Box Car) I’ve reviewed Mike’s plenty of times and have eaten my fair share of sandwiches and ribs in their parking lot. I like the consistency of the wood smoke, moist meat, the grilled, seasoned and buttered roll and the house-made barbeque sauce; all combine to make a delicious sandwich. I’ve eaten the tri-tip sandwich probably 6 times and their pork ribs, 3 times. I give the highest marks for tri-tip and ribs at Mike’s. The downside, you’re in a parking lot or the front seat of your car eating, rather than in a restaurant. Oh well, the price one pays for good tri-tip and roadside tacos is exposure to the elements.

The Doghouse Grill is very close second to Mike’s. The tri–tip is identifiable with large slices of beef and a good crust of seasoning. The bread is toasted, seasoned and has texture, unlike B&L or Meat Market. The meat is moist. Doghouse tri-tip is the most expensive of all the sandwiches (between Mike’s, B&L, and Meat Market) at $8.49.

As a side note, Dog House ‘bucket o’fries’ has a big punch of seasoning salt, but are fresh, crispy, delicious and $3.49.

If I had to take atmosphere into account, rather than just the sandwich, Dog House is the only restaurant with an indoor seating area and atmosphere. The other three aforementioned places are simply take-out style restaurants or delis with seating situated in parking lots.