Cosmopolitan Bar and Grill, Downtown Fresno

I’ve never been to The Cosmopolitan Bar and Grill, known lovingly in Fresno as Cosmo’s. It’s been around since 1933 and is a staple in Downtown Fresno. Let’s be honest, most people remember exactly how to get here, not because it’s downtown, but because it’s across the street from Wildcat Adult Entertainment, a burr in the saddle of Fresno for a long time.

Here’s how the conversation goes,

“Where is Cosmo’s again? I know it’s downtown, but I forget where exactly.”

“You know, the building that’s painted purple downtown, the porno shop on the corner there off of G Street and Fresno …across the street is Cosmo’s.”

“Oh right, G Street. Isn’t The Basque Hotel around there too?”

“The Basque is around the corner across from the empty lot.  Just go to the porno shop and you can’t miss Cosmo’s, it’s across the street.”

Some people navigate by streets. Some navigate by landmarks.

Now that we have our directions clear, I was out to dinner with my cousins, well established eaters and patrons of legendary Cosmo’s. No, I didn't bring my camera or cell phone inside to take pictures, I was there with friends and family and didn't want to act like "the food critic" with a camera. My Master Jedi Powers allow me to make mental notes on the food without visual aides when necessary, this was one of those times where The Force guides my review (and a good visual memory).

We did the full set up, apps, mains, and dessert. Simple appetizers of the ubiquitous fried calamari (I think it’s CA law now that eating establishments must have fried calamari on the menu) and shrimp as well as a new item on the menu, clam pizza. As for the calamari and shrimp, the deep fry job was done properly. The calamari was tender and well seasoned. The shrimps were still moist inside the breading that coated them was crispy.  Tartar and cocktail sauce were provided, I didn't ask if they were house made. No complaints.

The pizza on the other hand, well, it fell short. It was labeled a clam pizza, but I couldn’t taste clams and all I saw on the pie were peppers and tomatoes. One person claimed there were clams, but I found no evidence to prove their claim on my pizza. As for the crust, I was left wanting.

Next up were the mains. As standard procedure, when evaluating many a restaurant, I will automatically order the rib-eye.  The Cosmo rib-eye comes with several choices of starch, which I usually don't order, but for evaluative purposes, I went with the rosemary mashed potato. Sticking with a Fresno tradition, soup or salad comes with main dishes; as it was a Friday, I ordered the Manhattan clam chowder (that’s the red one).

The chowder was more like a tomato soup with celery and clams, than a classic Manhattan chowder. Unlike the pizza, it had clams in it and was seasoned more with celery than anything else I could taste, other than the tomato broth. I finished my soup even though I have my internal issues as to what to call it. Tomato Soup with Clams? Minestrone with clams? Anyway, the soup was fine, just confusing to me.

The steak was presented well rested, properly seasoned and a perfect medium rare as ordered. I had absolutely no issue with the steak. In fact, there was nice flavor to the steak, a good crust, and solid seasoning. This was my expectation, well-crafted grilled beef.

I generally don’t order a starch with my steak, but since it was an option, I took my evaluative forkful of potato. Frankly, I don’t care for rosemary in my mash. And since I’m being a hater of infused mashed potatoes, I find the jalapeno mash potatoes at Fleming’s an outrage to serious wine drinkers. Please enjoy your Caymus Special Select with spicy jalapeno’s in you potatoes you jackass. Jalapeno’s are a palate killer, plain and simple. Rosemary can wreck a palate nearly as quickly in many circumstances, hence my avoidance of novelty mash potatoes. Cosmo's probably didn't have rosemary mash potatoes in 1933, just a guess. This dislike of novelty or Fresno Bedazzled Mash is a personal problem of mine, not Cosmo's. I often think Fresno likes "bedazzled" food. Similar to what I mentioned about Yosemite Ranch. I'm sure Cosmo's wouldn't do bedazzled mash if customers didn't like it or some sub-set requested it, but nothing and I mean nothing beats really well made old-fashioned mashed potatoes. Enough novelty mashed potato hating.

I did get a nibble of veal marsala from the opposite end of the table. Italian American  in style, I liked it. The flavors were bold and the veal wasn’t heavily breaded or pounded too thinly. With some simple pasta, that could have been a real winner as well. My Cousin MK got some huge lamb chops and I mean huge, double cut chops cooked right on medium rare plus. I could have easily swapped my steak for those.

I didn’t order dessert personally, but someone thought I’d be a good candidate (because I’m a glutton) to try the bread pudding.  The bread pudding was more like the top of the best apple pie you’ve ever tasted. It was ordered “crispy”, which meant nothing to me at the time, but obviously affected the flavor. The top of the bread, perfectly crisp and seasoned like an apple pie crust. The underside of the bread was wet and similar to pain perdu that I’ve had in French restaurants. The dessert made for a wonderful contrast in the mouth, crispy, sweet, a hint of spice, and mouthfilling. To me, besides the company at the table, it was the highlight of the night.

The moral of the Cosmo’s story (I did lead off with directions for a porno shop, so morals have to come in at some point)? Stick with the classics. It’s hard to go wrong with Fried Calamari, a Big Fat Steak (or Veal Marsala or Lamb Chops), and Bread Pudding. My gut says, you didn’t go to Cosmo’s for flourishes and nuance. My gut also says that in 1933, Cosmo’s didn’t have rosemary mash on the menu either, but probably full-O’butter mashed potatoes, which are 10 times better anyway. 

I’ll be back to Cosmo's and I know exactly how to get there now...it’s around the corner from The Basque Hotel.

Update on Wednesday, April 4, 2012 at 8:47AM by The Cured Ham

Went back to Cosmo's for lunch and had the NY Style Pastrami sandwich. Solid meat, solid sandwich. It was just about to fall apart on my last bite, which means it was made just about right. 

Eddie V's, La Jolla

Eddie V’s is a concept restaurant group from Darden; who also run The Olive Garden (NOOOOO!) and Capital Grille. It’s a steak house, so I don’t need a menu. Red Wine, Wedge Salad with Blue Cheese, Rib-Eye, and if available Creamed Spinach.

Wedge Salad. The wedge was basically the entire iceberg head with the core removed. No joke. The entire head of iceberg was on the plate, cold to the core, with the bottom and top barely capped off to allow for toppings and a flat base to rest on the plate cleanly rather than rolling around. It was almost comical how large this salad was. I’m all for “going big” at steakhouses, but this was laughable. There’s a corporate bean counter somewhere at Darden’s that can’t be authorizing this.

Rib-Eye. The steak was a bit over crisp on the edges without an even char to the meat. While the steak was done medium rare as requested, the staff asked if we could cut the middle of the steak to check for desired temperature. Personally, I didn’t cut it. Based upon the heat coming from the steak and the plate, the steak wasn’t fully rested. It actually bothers me a bit that they asked me to cut my steak. I don’t want to do the work to check to see if it’s done, that’s what I’m paying the chef for. Considering the steak was $46, I just want to enjoy my piece of beef and not do any work in terms of preparation.

It's my job to eat the steak, it's their job to cook it to my liking without having me cut into it without it rested. Period. 

As for the wine, I brought my own. We sat at the bar during our entire meal. The junior bartender actually asked me how to decant the wine, as she’d never done it before. A little surprising, considering some of the trophy wines on the list.

I had a good experience at Eddie V’s, but it wasn’t my best steakhouse experience. I think atmosphere, sitting in the upstairs breezeway / bar had a lot to do with it. The weather was wonderful as is the view. If I have to compare Eddie V’s to Capital Grille, I’d give the edge to Capital. I’ve had both individual meals and banquets at Capital Grille and I’ve been impressed with the quality. Eddie V’s needs more time to age.

Yosemite Ranch, Fresno

A few friends and I ate at the bar recently on a Thursday night. Prime time at 7pm, busy as can be. In terms of service, I have no complaints. The bar staff hustled like crazy to keep up with our orders and the other patrons.

"When the bartending staff spoke to our party in particular, they were never rushed, never hurried in their conversation. Kudos for the level of training the bar staff receives in handling its customers."

For dinner, I started with their heavily pushed, ahi tuna appetizer. I’m generally a fan of ahi and a simple seared piece of quality ahi is a nice way to start. Simple is far from what was delivered. There was a lot of stuff on the plate.

Generally Asian themed, the plate was awash with sauces and sides. This generally worries me. Fish, when seasoned and seared properly, should taste wonderfully and with a minimum of accompaniments. Sides of wasabi cream, ginger, drizzles of this and that, just overwrought. I expect this level of dazzle at some sushi restaurants in mini-malls, but not here. Generally, steak houses will treat ahi the way they treat steak, with some reverence. I say, skip the flourishes and give me a well prepared ahi steak. Yes, I finished the ahi, but tried to avoid the flourishes.

So I decided to be difficult for the next round. I asked, in a Nicholson Five Easy Pieces sort of way, for just the USDA Prime Rib-Eye they were featuring. No sides, no starter salad, no nonsense, just the meat on a plate, cooked medium rare, of course. The bartender spoke to the floor manager and promptly returned to say, “Yes” and they’d charge me simply for the price of the steak, not the full meal. Even better. Let’s see what they deliver.

As requested, a beautiful Prime rib-eye on a large white plate. Nothing else. No garnish even. The steak was well-seasoned and well-rested. The steak was cooked exactly right, evenly medium-rare from end to end. Not a single scorch mark or burnt area. The wood fire grill they use certainly is additive to the flavor of the steak. This steak was exactly right.

I’m happy to eat at the bar again at Yosemite Ranch. I will probably stick with simple dishes, like steak on a plate and salad. I have a feeling that the flourishes and "bedazzled" nonsense don’t stop with the ahi.

Richard's Prime Rib, Fresno

  

I’m a fan of Prime, grass-fed, corn-finished, single-ranch, 28-day wet aged, mesquite wood, wonderfully crusted $75 steaks, with a crispy skinned baked potato (or better yet, truffled risotto), coddled duck eggs on my creamed spinach, white table cloths, curated wine lists, Riedel crystal, an amuse bouche and expensive cocktails. A hint of Bushwood snobbery? Perhaps. If what I described is your version of a steak house, don’t go to Richard’s Prime Rib.

However, if you remember, as I do, those “grown-up” dinners with your parents or grandparents, they would usually involve steak. Nicola’s on Maroa or The Early Dawn in Clovis (each have been gone for a long time from Fresno) both stick out as grown-up. Classic steakhouse magic is still alive in San Francisco at The House of Prime Rib or Alfred’s for instance.

If you are looking for the days of steakhouse yesteryear in Fresno, Richard’s is ABSOLUTELY the place to go. Time literally has stopped here. No windows. Subdued  lights. A bartender who plays the spoons. Lots of wood. Bar to the left (if you’re lucky, you’ll eat there), Dining Room to the right. Naked women on the wall. Classic.

Within 3 minutes of being seated, Garlic Bread hits the table. Warm bread, maybe a couple edges of them were burnt, but no biggy. Glasses of tap water are filled at the same time.

Our server emerges quickly, after our garlic bread and water, to go over the specials and to take our order. Yes, there is an expectation that you’ll be ready to order after the specials are read. Don’t be fussy or sit and browse the menu, make a decision. It’s probably going to be steak anyway. In fairness, there are usually several fish specials. I have never ordered fish here and don’t know anyone else who has either.

Next up and ONLY after your server takes the dinner order is shrimp cocktail. I thought I was 7 years old again with those tiny shrimp (redundant) in the classic cocktail sauce. Technically, the shrimp cocktail is an amuse bouche, but I doubt they call it that. Don’t expect full-size U-12 prawns or a Pier 39 size cocktail. These are simply previously frozen bay shrimp in cocktail sauce, just like we all had back in 1976 and I loved every minute of it.

The choice one makes of soup or salad comes next, probably within 3 minutes of the shrimp cocktail being cleared. I ordered the Clam Chowder which tasted good, not pasty. The server said it was home-made. Good cup of chowder. As an aside, the salads presented are substantial, not a wimpy afterthought of side-salad with brown lettuce.

Main course time. Prime Rib, medium rare as requested, seasoned outside, moist inside. Not much more to say; it was done right.

Baked potato with all the fixins’. Sure it’s a smaller potato wrapped in foil and steamed (so the skin isn’t crispy), but it’s cooked through hot. And on cue, the fixins’ caddy of sour cream, chives, and bacon bits. I think I remember a steak house that had six toppings for a baked potato, but I think the three classics plus butter are all anyone needs. Of course, butter is already on the table.

Served with my steak are baked beans. They’re a solid offering and I like them better than choice two, green beans. I see the beans as a distant third to my baked potato. As many readers know, I’m a strict creamed spinach guy, but I didn’t want to mess with the classic program tonight. Are baked beans and green beans both considered “vegetables”? But I digress.

Horseradish cream is also served on the plate, but I didn’t need it with perfect Prime Rib.

$8 corkage (hell ya!) I’m a winemaker, so I often bring my own wine.

And here’s where the meal ends on a strict traditionalist note. When we declined dessert or coffee, the check is presented immediately by the server (am I with my grandparents or in a rush to go home and sleep; it’s only 8pm?!) The nostalgia, the tradition, the memories! Our start to finish meal lasted exactly 1 hour (again, am I with my grandparents?!)

If you want a quality prime rib and eat a well-prepared meal at a fair price, I don’t think you need to look any farther than Richard’s. Yes, it’s partially about the nostalgia of the place and less about the previously frozen bay shrimp cocktail, foil wrapped around a potato, or a naked woman on the wall. Richard’s Prime Rib is simply without pretention but certainly not without character and style.

BOA Steakhouse, Santa Monica

Started with the seared ahi tartare. Was it over the top? No. Was it a good dish? Yes. The cuts of individual ahi were uniform and small, high marks for consistency and precision. I expected more pop or brightness from the dish. Considering how quickly it came out from the kitchen, literally 2 minutes, I’m guessing it was sitting at the pass, a botched order they gave to me. 

 

My steak with foie butter was solid. I’ve been cooking a lot of my own rib-eyes in the last month and I’m getting very good at it. I’m also cooking with wood rather than gas, which imparts flavor into the meat. I’d say that the BOA rib-eye is good, the beef is aged and it was seasoned properly. I’m just getting more flavor from various beef sources I’ve been experimenting with and I’m beginning to notice differences in the beef and the cooking method. BOA is good, no doubt.

My side of creamed spinach was generous and very tasty. Just a straight up classic and it was done exactly right. Bravo, because  it doesn’t have to be fancy to be good.

Solid experience at BOA. Bartenders hustled and were conversational at least as long as they could be. The bar scene there gets hoppin’ around 7pm. I wouldn’t hesitate to return and it is right across the street from the beach.