George's Bar and Grill, Fresno

Went in for lunch with a couple friends and our experience was similar and equally pathetic. Suffice it to say, none of us will return.

I started with a cabbage soup that was lifeless and bland. I get the idea of a peasant soup, but this was more like hot Fresno tap water with black pepper and cabbage added to it. Moving on.

I had the mix of dolma, sarma and kufta. If there were an Armenian food stand at the Big Fresno Fair and I received the last three pieces of dolma, sarma, and kufta and the end of the day from the large steamer tray, that's basically how my lunch tasted. Steamed to the degree that everything was sort of wet, pale, and like the soup, lifeless. The food could have been made 3 days before or 3 hours before, I couldn't tell because it was so heavily steamed.

No reason to return.

Oka Japanese, Fresno

This may be the most brief review I’ve ever done. 

If I had gone to the bathroom to wash my hands before I ordered anything, I would have walked out before eating. Absolutely the most filthy bathroom I’ve seen since I was in a roadside stand in Morocco. I was disgusted. 

No soap in the Men’s bathroom. So I hope to God there was soap in the Women’s restroom as it seems to be all women rolling your sushi. 

Good luck.

The Meat Market, Fresno

The Meat Market should be ashamed of itself for serving Heinz BBQ sauce in a tear open packet. In order to be called “the best tri-tip” in Fresno, I don’t want to eat a commercial BBQ sauce. And if I am eating commercial sauce, I don’t want to know about it.

Absolutely Shameful.

The bread was of average quality and served naked, no sauce, no butter, no grilling. The meat was dry and basically un-seasoned, save for the flavor of the wood in the BBQ.

 

Fresno has a tradition of sticking with restaurants that have a tendency to be mediocre, simply because the restaurant has been around the longest, not because they’re the best. The Meat Market is the default Fresno choice for tri-tip because it was here before the others. Fresno deserves better.

I see no reason to ever return to the Meat Market for a tri-tip sandwich. Go to Mike's Grill on Herndon and Chestnut or Dog House Grill for a tri-tip sandwich.

Huckleberry's, Fresno

I’ve thought of a few great reasons to come to Huckleberry’s in Fresno for breakfast:

1. If you need to gain weight quickly for a chance to play the roll of The King Pin in the next Spiderman movie or Penguin in the next Batman movie.

2. If you only have $7 to eat that day and don't want to eat again for 24 hours.

3. If you have the mutant ability to regurgitate food like a raptor and have young mutants at home eagerly awaiting their vomitus meal.

4. If you like Man vs. Food and want to pretend you’re “that guy” while you fill your pie hole full of outrageously large portions of industrially prepared food.

5. Training for the Ever-So-American Hot Dog eating contest? I’ve found the gym, I've found the trough for you.

Here’s the pile of food I was given in the attached picture. No, the biscuits and gravy did not taste good. The potatoes were actually ok and I did eat those. I had a couple bites of biscuit for polite reasons. The fruit pictured on the right tasted like they were cut on the same board as the onions and garlic. Horrible.

The service staff did hustle like crazy and were very polite.

The Palms, Fresno

The Palms seems to be a popular restaurant for lunch in Fresno and I’ve been several times. What I keep wondering is why do I keep going back? Oh, right, I usually don’t have a choice.

The special Chinese chicken salad was suggested by my server. Impressive looking all stacked up on the plate, with bright colors and large strips of chicken breast meat.

Good from far, is far from good as the saying goes.

Upon closer inspection, I find brown lettuce and a pool of dressing soaking in rotting foliage. And not just a little brown lettuce, pretty much the whole plate was brown lettuce. I ate the red bell pepper slivers, the chicken, and the peanuts. Overall, not good and not the first time I've experienced this rotting foliage at The Palms. 

I don’t know how a restaurant can have a successful lunch business and serve large quantities of old lettuce. Maybe The Palms is my cure for over-eating during a business lunch and getting the 2pm sleepies.

And can anyone tell me what "Fine Star Cuisine" means? It's their slogan.